James Alawi
| Goals | 23 |
| Appearances | 94 |
| MOTMs | 7 |
| Awards | Wooden Spoon (14/15), Third Place, Golden Boot (19/20) |
Bio
James Alawi-Yates, or Yatesy as he likes to be called, once claimed to have once won 3 headers in a row but nobody believes him. He did manage one during the Lisbon tour of 2022, which prompted astonished cries on the sidelines, not least because it was a 5 a-side match.
Scored in our first ever game, with a direct Corner against Dynamo Gobbler, and has established himself as a club legend ever since with an array of excellent outfits, baffling comments in the pub and occasionally some quite good football. This included the final match of 21/22, making him the latest subject of The Clamour (for his return at some point), the only context in which Foden, Grealish and Alawi-Yates will appear alongside each other.
Doesn't particularly seem to enjoy being substituted but on the plus side hasn't got stuck on a balcony for several years now. A very strong contender for the highest average number of £s paid per fines session attended, although Todd is doing his best to rival him.